It’s finally Friday. Did anyone else have a week that felt forever long?! But I did get to have dinner with a dear friend and her kids and Love is working again on another show in the KC area. The heat is getting to me…I’m ready for Fall and sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes.
The story with Bug.
He is a sweet, loving, tender-hearted boy. We have always known that he runs 110% all the time, gives 110% all the time, and wants nothing more than to see you smile. He talks all the time. I want that communication. I want him to feel like he always has an engaged listener when he speaks to us. He is a natural entertainer (I have no clue where that came from…ahem.) He really just wants to make you happy and strives to do what he knows is right. Seriously, the kid could run all day on simply a smile and encouraging words from those he loves.
We have always made an effort to allow our little family the freedom to change plans at the last minute to enjoy that last bit of sunshine, or free food at whatever restaurant, or last minute plans to meet up with a friend or see a show. Love and I like that freedom; it is a part of who we are. I love to tell friends we have a little gypsy blood…always ready to go where the wind takes us. So schedule and structure do not come naturally to us (read in this please pray for this in our life!)
I never realized how much this would stress out our little 110% kid.
Kindergarten was a great year, hard but good. He is so smart. But struggles with self-control. So we reset expectations. Got him on a daily chart. Tried to address the behavior. Some days were good. Others were not. But overall we saw improvement and went into the summer.
We began to observe more…throughout Kindergarten and the summer we observed. His actions. His speech. His continued lack of self-control. His constant talking, not just words, but sounds…all the time…in the middle of others conversations…always. His inability to really sit still unless he is in my lap or watching a show…and even then his little limbs sometimes have little spastic twitches. This part breaks my heart. On bad days he would say, “I’m trying so hard to be good.” We are big on grace. We are consistent in our discipline but we also strive to share God’s grace for imperfect people with our little ones.
Being the parents’ that we are…and having a fun-filled summer means my summer birthday boy did not get around to having his 6 yr check-up until after school started. So in the first week of first grade I sent a note to the teacher saying we would be taking him out for his scheduled appointment. Bless her heart. With Bug going to the doctor, she wanted to make us aware of her concerns. Concerns we already had, but our fear of him being “labelled” prevented us from sharing. Concerns she said she wouldn’t normally share until much later, but couldn’t pass up the opportunity of a doctor’s visit. She was nervous. She didn’t need to be. I always want to know what is going on with my kid. I always want to know the concerns of the teacher. Now we know better. How can teachers help unless they know what we know?! Do we want them to teach our child to the best of their abilities?! If so, I should, as a responsible loving parent share with them the little nuances of MY child that will help them to help him! (sorry for the little rant)
Needless to say, with input from the teacher, his doctor and prayers we have added a little medication to his life…for ADHD. We did not do this without thought and prayer. A LOT of PRAYER. A lot of me wondering if I did this to my child. Did he watch too much TV? Is he eating the wrong foods? How do I get an already picker eater to eat the right foods? Do we cut out all video games even though this is something we enjoy as a family and he has this only as a reward?
After jumping off the crazy train…or maybe i should say…After being pushed off the crazy train by my wonderful husband. We again observed our little boy. You know what?!
His spirit is the same. He is still a sweet, loving, tender-hearted boy. He still runs at 110%. He still gives you 110%. He still wants nothing more than to see you smile and hear your words of encouragement. He still talks…all the time. But now he can do it while saying, “Excuse me,” and waiting his turn. Allowing me to turn my full attention on him and giving him my 110%. He is able to talk full speed without constantly tripping over his words (I can’t even begin to express how HUGE this is!).
I was so scared. So scared his spirit would be crushed. That he would disappear into a ball of medicated stoicism.
Thank you God for showing me my folly. For sharing with me your ability to provide just what we need when we need it when we don’t know that we need it.
We are becoming more schedule oriented. Bug loves to cross things off a list. And we are trying to help lower his stress-level by showing him ways to deal with his excessive energy and frustrations. And that’s where we are on this little journey…
Now enjoy a random conglomeration of pictures of the little man himself…