the flip and the flop

FLIP:

I haven’t been taking a lot of pictures.  I HAVE been enjoying life with my little ones and my hubby.  I love having the face-to-face with them. cherishing the little moments…in real time. I convince myself that this is important. necessary. lovely. precious moments that will never come again.

FLOP:

I miss having things documented…so that on any day at any time I can simply look at a picture and remember those cherished moments. I miss having the pictures to tell a story to our loved ones. I’m sad that most of little bit’s pictures are from a phone and Bug has “real” photos from my fancy big camera…which I still have but is constantly out of reach.

I have pictures from big things like the pumpkin patch, halloween, birthdays…but I miss things like Friday night when we took just Bug out for pizza and gift-buying…trying to teach him how to think of and buy things for other people that will warm their hearts.  I wish I had taken just one photo…of us all sitting around eating slices of pizza bigger than our faces…but I don’t…and a part of me (flip) realizes I will never forget it and I was there…in the moment with him…but I also want to show him these special times when he gets older (flop).  During holidays, birthdays, etc…I sometimes feel removed…trying to get that perfect picture…you know…the one that will be blown up to full size and encapsulates the feeling of the moment…I feel like I miss little precious things…but otherwise I don’t have the lovely photo that reminds me and them of that day…that time…that feeling.  <<SIGH>>

Any one else struggle with this?!  Any suggestions?

Are we…

AreWewatching him walk into school today and I’m suddenly overcome with the question:

Are we asking him to take on too much responsibility? Are we allowing him to enjoy his childhood? Do we ask too much or expect too little? Where is the balance?!

I don’t know why this question made me weepy.  It shouldn’t.  I should be able to look at my life, analyze, make changes as needed and move forward. It is the way I have ALWAYS functioned.

But today, or better said, recently, anything involving him and the decisions WE make for him gets me choked up every time.

Are we doing enough? Are we doing it right?  Are we raising a kind, generous, respectful, fun-loving kid?  Are we modeling this attitude ourselves?

I am continually reminded by awesome God-lovin’ people that we are the parents to our kids for a reason. That God gives us what we need when we need it for them to grow and love in His way.  But I doubt. I know the doubt is not from God, but honestly I just want to parent the best I can…and find it hard to lovingly analyze anything without overwhelming emotion, then I don’t know what to do…I’ve never been this unable to “see” how to move forward. Maybe everything is going really well and I just can’t see it.  My heart is restless…I’m praying through it and waiting

Sickness

oh so much sickness.  fevers. gross phlegm. short tempers. lots of snotty snuggles. bug crying big fat slow tears because beastie is humming for a kiss and he can’t give her one because he doesn’t want to get her sick.

I don’t get sick. I’m super-mom!!! Just kidding!

No really, I don’t get sick, though.  

I think God does that on purpose.  He gives me the time that my kiddos and hubby are sick to love on them in ways I don’t usually do. He gives me the time to re-evaluate what’s important, because snuggles with a sick baby will always trump anything on my to-do list. He gives me the time to stop, breathe and really listen to what they have to say, to really see them. He gives me the time to show my husband that I will always take the time to love on him too.

I hate being helpless to their sickness, but I am more nurturing, more loving, less task-oriented and more “here” when they are under the weather.

I pray they get better. I pray that I continue to be “here”.

here are cute pictures from before the sickness at the pumpkin patch…

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October

Just a little something I found today…and wanted to share…

anne of green gableshttp://www.cardiganway.com/31-days/attachment/anne-of-green-gables-2/

OCTOBER was a beautiful month at Green Gables, when the birches in the hollow turned as golden as sunshine and the maples behind the orchard were royal crimson and the wild cherry trees along the lane put on the loveliest shades of dark red and bronzy green, while the fields sunned themselves in aftermaths.

Anne reveled in the world of color about her.

“Oh, Marilla,” she exclaimed one Saturday morning, coming dancing in with her arms full of gorgeous boughs” ‘I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it? Look at these maple branches. Don’t they give you a thrill–several thrills? I’m going to decorate my room with them.”

“Messy things,” said Marilla, whose aesthetic sense was not noticeably developed. “You clutter up your room entirely too much with out-of-doors stuff, Anne. Bedrooms were made to sleep in.”

“Oh, and dream in too, Marilla. And you know one can dream so much better in a room where there are pretty things. I’m going to put these boughs in the old blue jug and set them on my table.”

“Mind you don’t drop leaves all over the stairs then. I’m going on a meeting of the Aid Society at Carmody this afternoon, Anne, and I won’t likely be home before dark. You’ll have to get Matthew and Jerry their supper, so mind you don’t forget to put the tea to draw until you sit down at the table as you did last time.”

“It was dreadful of me to forget,” said Anne apologetically, “but that was the afternoon I was trying to think of a name for Violet Vale and it crowded other things out. Matthew was so good. He never scolded a bit. He put the tea down himself and said we could wait awhile as well as not. And I told him a lovely fairy story while we were waiting, so he didn’t find the time long at all. It was a beautiful fairy story, Marilla. I forgot the end of it, so I made up an end for it myself and Matthew said he couldn’t tell where the join came in.”

——————————————-Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

be still my beating heart.  

everyone join me with a cup of hot tea, a good book and warm fuzzy pajamas.

Fall

Love made pumpkin pie…we ate it…so there is no picture.

Work is good…right now.  I like being busy at work and able to come home to be 100% mommy.

It rained…and Bug decided not to change his pants…so I got these photos.

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Little Beast is cutting two more molars on the bottom…so no cute photos there.

We are still praying for direction in our life…but God hasn’t closed any doors or opened any new ones…so we live life.

Oh and I saw this on Pinterest…LOVE! and your welcome for this little bit of lovely 🙂

Listen! The wind is rising and the air is wild with leaves, we have had our summer evenings; now for October eves! Humbert Wolfe

nights…

some nights are silly and fun like this…

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some nights are filled with screaming until this little one finally sits on my lap for hours until Love gets home…

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that is all.  have a good day.

Driving home…

in the past week I’ve seen 2 cars I wanted to take pictures of…but I’m a responsible driver and didn’t pull out my cell to snap the picture of random peoples bumpers.  Because of that…you have to make do with my (badly) photo-shopped versions.

Enjoy!

xminivan xminicooper

hahaha…”I used to be cool” on a minivan…a blue mini-cooper with Baker St and Dr Who references…seriously who stole my car?!

Okay now that I’ve had my fun.  We are just really living life here. Honestly, I want to be generic and say, “God is doing some pretty incredible stuff right now.”  Really, Amy?!  what?  It’s true, He is.  But I had a rough night last night.  I was short of patience when I came home and things didn’t go according to my plan for the evening.  By the time Love got home I was just ready to curl up and sleep.  Which I did (after a nice glass of wine).

Thank you God for being my maker, sustainer, provider and peaceful resting place.  Help me to remember as I drive home each day that You are my comfort, help and shelter.  Help me to show my little ones your love everyday…no matter how short I feel. I want them to know You, love You and know that they are loved by You beyond their wildest imaginations.

Going into the weekend…that’s all I really have to say about that.